S doesn't say what first comes into his mind then — that he wouldn't have felt pressured, he would have felt permitted. It isn't as if he believes he needs J's approval to play at all, or anything like that. Even had J not encouraged him to do so, S still would have taken some time with the pianos here as he's been doing, even just for a few minutes at a time. He just would never have done so in front of J without knowing that J would be alright with it, and he couldn't have assumed that J would be. Still, at least he knows now. He may not be able to determine what this means or even how he feels about music, but it feels like something has shifted even so, and very, very tentatively like it might be a good thing. If they've both been holding back at least in part for the other's sake, then perhaps having it out in the open now will leave them both a little freer to try it if they want to and not have to leave it this huge, unspoken thing between them.

"That's not true," he murmurs, one hand coming up to J's hair when J tips his head forward. Again, he nearly smiles, wry this time, self-deprecating. "We're very stupid, but we do learn." At least they've said all of this now instead of bottling it up even longer and misunderstanding each other even more. "We've come a long way from how things were before, haven't we?" He lets go of J for only a moment so he can attempt to dry his cheeks, still more than a little self-conscious, though it helps to be doing the reassuring again. "You were worried about me and I was worried about you, but... you wouldn't have started a fight, and I didn't think you would, and I wasn't just plowing ahead, waiting for things to go back to normal."

It's a lot to say, especially when his voice is a little wobbly with tears, and he shrugs. It might not even make sense. He really does think, though, that they have learned, even if they haven't always taken away exactly the right lessons. "And now we know."