Already S knows he's gotten this entirely wrong. He shouldn't have said anything, or if he was going to, he should have done so sooner, made it less out of nowhere, maybe feigned a cold or something. Except it would have been obviously untrue, and probably raised J's suspicions sooner, never mind the fact that S doesn't like lying to him. At least this way, he hasn't said anything dishonest. He might be attempting to talk around the real reason for this appointment, but it's all still true. It is just a check-up, just a very specific one. It is a routine thing, something he was told he should do rather than that he felt he needed, and he is fine.
He just has a feeling that, if he tells J what the reason behind it is, he won't see it that way. Hazy as a lot of his memories of that first day are, especially those few minutes he spent in an absolute panic, he vaguely recalls a similar exchange — him trying to say he was alright, J insisting otherwise. S can't stand the thought of going down that road again, or even anywhere close to it. He is fine, and the whole point of this appointment is really to confirm that. If there were anything wrong, if he even suspected there might be, this would be a very different conversation, something he would have prepared J for ahead of time.
Now, he isn't sure what to do about his slip of the tongue. He can't take it back, and he doesn't want to make J worry more instead of less. When J knows him so well, being too evasive would probably be obvious, and make things seem worse than they actually are. While he nods in agreement, not wanting to hesitate on that front, expression gently earnest as he looks over at J, he takes a moment to weigh his words before he gives a verbal answer, trying to find the tidiest middle ground. "Everything's really fine," he confirms, reaching over to rest his hand on J's, hoping the gesture will be reassuring. "I promise. It's... I had a surgery, a few months before I got here. And it went well, there hasn't been anything wrong since, I'm just supposed to check in every so often. I only didn't say anything before because it really is just routine."
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He just has a feeling that, if he tells J what the reason behind it is, he won't see it that way. Hazy as a lot of his memories of that first day are, especially those few minutes he spent in an absolute panic, he vaguely recalls a similar exchange — him trying to say he was alright, J insisting otherwise. S can't stand the thought of going down that road again, or even anywhere close to it. He is fine, and the whole point of this appointment is really to confirm that. If there were anything wrong, if he even suspected there might be, this would be a very different conversation, something he would have prepared J for ahead of time.
Now, he isn't sure what to do about his slip of the tongue. He can't take it back, and he doesn't want to make J worry more instead of less. When J knows him so well, being too evasive would probably be obvious, and make things seem worse than they actually are. While he nods in agreement, not wanting to hesitate on that front, expression gently earnest as he looks over at J, he takes a moment to weigh his words before he gives a verbal answer, trying to find the tidiest middle ground. "Everything's really fine," he confirms, reaching over to rest his hand on J's, hoping the gesture will be reassuring. "I promise. It's... I had a surgery, a few months before I got here. And it went well, there hasn't been anything wrong since, I'm just supposed to check in every so often. I only didn't say anything before because it really is just routine."