J shakes his head, uncertain. He has to admit it's a reasonable enough thing to say. S has no cause to think he'd want to see, given how he reacted before, and it's not like J really expected there would be much of a change. However he plays off his own scars, they're still there, still too visible, enough so that he keeps himself covered when he goes out, no matter how hot it gets. He doesn't want to deal with strangers or minor acquaintances asking questions he can't answer and which he knows would send him spinning off course. And his, at least, he has the advantage of their having healed so abruptly, as he said, as if they've been on him for years, not months, not the scant hour or less it had been when he arrived. S doesn't have that, has healed for less time, and what J did to him was ferocious and terrible. Of course there hasn't been much, if any, physical change.
"I wouldn't think so," he says simply. "But I am. Aren't I?" There are so many reasons for him to want this, more than there are for him not to. He's pretty sure of that much, though he's not exactly sure S wants him to run down a list. "It's not like I don't know what's there or how it happened, even if you stay covered up. I didn't have a breakdown over how it looks." Granted, in retrospect, he thinks he might easily have had a breakdown about nearly anything. If it hadn't been the sight of S's scars, he probably would have wound up on top of S and freaked out. What they can do now would have torn him apart then. But then, it doesn't seem like pointing out how on edge he was then is doing much good, even if he thinks it was responsible for a lot of how he reacted.
Shrugging, he rests his hand at S's waist, tugging him close, though there isn't really anywhere for him to go now. "If you don't want to," he says slowly, "then... then okay." J knows his own reaction, however intense, was understandable at the time. It can't have been easy for S to get used to it either. Maybe he's more self-conscious than J thought about this, and J can't ask him just to get over that if it's the case. Maybe they can work toward that, if S wants to and is willing, but maybe he isn't. The only way they can know is to talk about it. "But if it's okay... you know I think of it anyway, right? Because I can't see your chest, it reminds me why that's so."
He's more or less grown accustomed to that. It's not like he's going to forget any time soon anyway. But if he can adjust to that constant reminder, then, he thinks, it seems just as possible he can adjust to the actual sight, given the chance.
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"I wouldn't think so," he says simply. "But I am. Aren't I?" There are so many reasons for him to want this, more than there are for him not to. He's pretty sure of that much, though he's not exactly sure S wants him to run down a list. "It's not like I don't know what's there or how it happened, even if you stay covered up. I didn't have a breakdown over how it looks." Granted, in retrospect, he thinks he might easily have had a breakdown about nearly anything. If it hadn't been the sight of S's scars, he probably would have wound up on top of S and freaked out. What they can do now would have torn him apart then. But then, it doesn't seem like pointing out how on edge he was then is doing much good, even if he thinks it was responsible for a lot of how he reacted.
Shrugging, he rests his hand at S's waist, tugging him close, though there isn't really anywhere for him to go now. "If you don't want to," he says slowly, "then... then okay." J knows his own reaction, however intense, was understandable at the time. It can't have been easy for S to get used to it either. Maybe he's more self-conscious than J thought about this, and J can't ask him just to get over that if it's the case. Maybe they can work toward that, if S wants to and is willing, but maybe he isn't. The only way they can know is to talk about it. "But if it's okay... you know I think of it anyway, right? Because I can't see your chest, it reminds me why that's so."
He's more or less grown accustomed to that. It's not like he's going to forget any time soon anyway. But if he can adjust to that constant reminder, then, he thinks, it seems just as possible he can adjust to the actual sight, given the chance.