It's so often like this, S thinks, the back and forth, J staying composed while consoling him, him pulling himself together when J gets upset. At least no longer being quite such a wreck makes him feel a little less guilty, though that's balanced out by the waver in J's voice and how heart-wrenching it is. Even that is fine, or it should be. As reactions go, this is a far milder one than the last time J saw this, when, as he's just said, he was too shaken and unhappy for the specific source of the scar to matter all that much.
Still, S frowns, expression concerned and apologetic and soft as he looks at J, one hand lifting to his cheek. For him, it isn't a question at all that it's okay. It was a year and a half ago, and it is even more so now. He hates the way he looks and he hates that, no matter what he does, he'll always carry around this reminder of what happened that terrible night, but physically speaking, he's fine, and if he held anything against J for what he did, then they wouldn't be here now. That would be cruel, as far as he's concerned, to act like everything is fine while holding a grudge or worrying about what might happen.
"Please don't cry," he murmurs, his own voice a little unsteady, though he manages not to start crying again himself. "It is. Of course it is. I'm fine now, and we're here." That, he's thought since he first spotted J here, is the most important thing. They're here, they're together, they have this impossible chance, and while it's not as if the past doesn't matter, it doesn't have to be what defines them now, either. He only wishes that J didn't have to see this. He kind of thinks that he had the right idea before, actually, staying covered in J's presence, preventing him from having to confront this. There's no taking it back now, though, and at least it's gone better than it did the first time, not that that's saying very much.
His thumb gently stroking J's cheek, S has to fight hard to ignore the instinct to pull his shirt back up and button it again. Even if he did, it wouldn't undo this or the emotional effect of it. Chances are, nothing will even change all that much after this, and S considers that a good thing. He can't imagine that J would want to fuck him with a view like this, or that it would be a welcome addition to something relaxing like a shower. S is more than alright with that. He may have once suggested leaving his shirt on as a temporary measure, but he hasn't thought of it like one in a long time. "Are you okay?"
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Still, S frowns, expression concerned and apologetic and soft as he looks at J, one hand lifting to his cheek. For him, it isn't a question at all that it's okay. It was a year and a half ago, and it is even more so now. He hates the way he looks and he hates that, no matter what he does, he'll always carry around this reminder of what happened that terrible night, but physically speaking, he's fine, and if he held anything against J for what he did, then they wouldn't be here now. That would be cruel, as far as he's concerned, to act like everything is fine while holding a grudge or worrying about what might happen.
"Please don't cry," he murmurs, his own voice a little unsteady, though he manages not to start crying again himself. "It is. Of course it is. I'm fine now, and we're here." That, he's thought since he first spotted J here, is the most important thing. They're here, they're together, they have this impossible chance, and while it's not as if the past doesn't matter, it doesn't have to be what defines them now, either. He only wishes that J didn't have to see this. He kind of thinks that he had the right idea before, actually, staying covered in J's presence, preventing him from having to confront this. There's no taking it back now, though, and at least it's gone better than it did the first time, not that that's saying very much.
His thumb gently stroking J's cheek, S has to fight hard to ignore the instinct to pull his shirt back up and button it again. Even if he did, it wouldn't undo this or the emotional effect of it. Chances are, nothing will even change all that much after this, and S considers that a good thing. He can't imagine that J would want to fuck him with a view like this, or that it would be a welcome addition to something relaxing like a shower. S is more than alright with that. He may have once suggested leaving his shirt on as a temporary measure, but he hasn't thought of it like one in a long time. "Are you okay?"